Dong Zhi : Chinese Winter Gathering..

Da da da~ Da da da~ chrismas all the way~ every years before Xmas got a important day for chinese, we call that "Dong Zhi" a.k.a the date for eat "tong Yun".. So fast already end of year, last year this moment i'm still wonder how will going on of us, too badly i din't pay much care for you when you suffering, i'm sorry that..

How was your day again? Did you eat tong yun..? I know that will remind you something not so much happiness due on this coming day, but sometimes for someone leaving, actually they still at our mind, they do made a best and the better memory to our brain.. =) smile one dumb2..

Oh yea, this year gonna end soon, you do take care you self nicely yea.. You always like a dumb2 to let people worry about, just don't take too much for the unhappy amd do much for the Xmas and the Happy New Year..

Dumb2, happy for the tong yun day and Xmas and Happy New Year, the fairy i'm sent to you is always protecting you =) cheer.. And miss you..

Page 43,
Midnight 02:25a.m.
By Yht..

Hapi..? Birthday..?

This year birthday i guess will put in to my most happy birthday memories database, get more and more wishes, first time get the gift im dream for since im kid.. Thank you and feel very happiness..

Maybe there will still have a little bit "wai ham" din't accept a important people wishing, but i know you are already did in you heart just because of something you can't say it to me, im sorry to made until this but i'm still feel happy of this birthday because i know exactly you are remember what day of today..

You know, i'm really happy that i get my LEGO gift, i'm dream that since im child and now here come true, if there a God im think he was remember my child dream and made it to true right now, =) hope you happiness forever and healthy forever, my heart receive your wishes already, thank you dumb2..

Good night and sweet dream.. (You will not believe when i'm typing this page and you send me the msg.. Thank you =) )

Page 42,
Night 23:59,
By Yht..

the Ikea

Today is a busy day, run to a far place for my sister birthday gift, too bad can't get the whole set to her, because out of stock, haiz..

Went to Ikea today, first time been there, found many thing i'm need at there, and let me feel really need a time to rebuild my bedroom, to a better and comfortable place, sadly is i'm out of budget, pity..

And there is a question is about their service, most of time is out of stock, i guess if i'm need to get a whole set really need sometime, a so big company but so bad management.. Is a bad sign..?

The year is gonna end, this year i made a lot of wish but i guess just half of them is become true, every years wishes is hard complete, need gambateh more nia.. Hehe..

It's time to sleep, don't sleep so late =) Wish you have a sweet dream, and good night, take care =)

Page 41,
Midnight 01:24,
By Yht..

the unknown topic..

Almost a month din't write something, not because nothing happen, in fact, is too nuch happen until i'm can't take a breath at all.. Sigh, human life, i'm almost die..

Sometimes put too much on the back, really feel so suffer and hard, even if i'm trying to put it down and start it from zero, but i'm notice that is too late..

On count, almost 5 years din't go travel at all, i mean out of my home state.. Hope there have a long day trip, can take a breath and sit down for a drink.. When the day will come, too far from now..

Nothing much can say from me, but sometimes i'm will thinking, how was your day right now.. November again and the day is come over again, hope you have a great day for that date =)

All right, i guess it's time go to bed, actually just wan't to tell you, hey i'm okay, still alive, how about you? Take care..
Good night amd sweet dream.. =)

Page 40,
Midnight 01:17,
By Yht..

the Darkness..

Hi there, feel very down on last couple week.. And that is really made me can't cheer up all the time.. Even now.. Sigh..

Lot of people will never care about politics, some of them hate this topics, so do i.. But take a look about Hong Kong, Taiwan, even in the europe country, many of the young is trying to get a better future, because they can't see a good future..

Malaysian, i don't know are we too enjoyable for now, or we are really don't have the guts to fight for the future.. Property is the second one.. Look around us, we do not have a war, a scourge.. All we have is man-made, a greedy govements that always think they have the right to control everyone.. Who! Give the right to them said that we raise the price of petrol, who give the right to them to said that they can made any speak within responsible.. That is us, even if how unfair i'm feeling, that is the fact..

Think too much of this in last few days, many unfair and unhappy surround on me, i do understand this world has no fair, just can't really accept the level with so outrageous.. Really hope that i got the ability to change something, but i'm not a superman..

Sorry to ask you hearing my "fatt ap fong", please ignore that =) and wish you have a happy day..

Page 39,
Morning 09:07,
By Yht..

the Big day..

21th of the September maybe is a normal day for other people, but that is meanfull day to you, and me.. Maybe is fate or maybe is joke, every years 20th my phone will remind me that 21th Sept. is near..

Sorry for din't send you wishes anymore, sorry for din't make you handmade gift anymore, sorry for everything..(and i know you will said "nvm la") but that is important to make something unforgettable memories to the one who we care, am i right..?

Emm.. Happy birthday dumb2, i knew that is too bad no a gift to you, but i'm really don't know what to do anymore =') so.. I wish that and will send all the fairy to bless you, and what i'm hope that your beautiful smile will carry on your face every moment every second =) Happy Birthday to you, dumb2 =)
       £
       | |
 -----------
 |. ~~~~~.|
======== (Big gal2 jor lo, take care self nicely, kay..? =])

Page 38,
Midnight 03:23,
By Yht..

the Communication..

Hey there, i'm always mean that communication was very important between people, family, even if couple.. But what if that is not the people you feel to share, will you still trying..?

I'm not never try before to made a great conversation with those people i'm try to let they know what i'm feel exactly, just i'm figure out the result is they not the good person i'm should share.. But people is quite weird you know, since you have the first talk to them, they will try to keep digging out all the truth inside your heart before thinking why people no longer to share their secret anymore..

I'm always mean that too talking is an art, so think before you speak.. I'm not don't wan't to tell you what i trying to hide, just.. you are not the one i'm wan't to share my secret.. Not even you saw i'm feel down, even if i'm really feel very down, just you are not the people i'm feel to talk, but, they never understand that.. They will only blame you don't telling out everything..

This is happen to me, on this morning.. I'm never feel so angry before, i feel so so angry, but nothing much i can do, that because we standing at the different position.. Whatever, i'm guess you will have a great day, do you..? And keep the smile on your face, because you are dummy =) Dummy is always happiness than a genius ( i never mean i'm a genius even everyday i'm feel down xD).. Birthday is near =) and i never forgot..

Page 37,
Morning 09:00,
By Yht..

Mooncake.. Festival..

Mooncake festival, the meaning for chinese is all friend and family stick together, stay together and play together.. Did you back home with your family..?

What to make me feel on mooncake festival is.. The memories of WMO of the past, the weird and funny headgear, and the day we cook the mooncake.. Hows your day..? Is there still same..? =) It's September, you know the means of Sept. do you..? 

I'm sorry that i can't made you a different birthday wishes, hmm.. Sorry for my weakness =]

Page 36,
Afternoon 04:06,
By Yht..

the Shadow..

So long, i'm never take the public transfer, and now there is really awkful because i'm local but what i'm action like a travel.. 

In my moving home trip, at the station Hang Tuah, i'm saw a familliar back, i'm feel scare that was you, and i'm only can keep tell self that is not you, and i'm still dare not to face you.. We still avoiding each other, sigh..

What i'm feel was, did i'm should has to scare to see you..? I don't know because i'm dare not to move forward and make sure that is you, or not.. What i doing is only pray and hope that is not you..

September, your birthday month.. Never forgot and never stop miss someone.. You really is a fool, YHT!!

Page 35,
Afternoon 03:26 p.m.
By Yht..

the S word..

I though i'm was put it down..

Can't ubderstand why, this few day i'm will miss you, when i'm wake up, when i'm sleep, even when i'm working.. I'm feel guilty to my current girlfriend because i'm miss another behind her, sigh.. What wrong with me, even if i'm know that is quite wrong but i can't stop my self to continue that..

You said before what we doing is good to each other, why i'm will feel so bad to my self and you.. We din't talk, we din't see each other, but i do miss you still.. No matter how i hope and try to let go..

The day is still same, what changed is i still miss you, i'm sorry..

Page 34,
Morning 11:29,
By Yht..

the Making of wantan.. =(

Today was a horrible day, suffer and harder!!

As you know what the mean of wantan in Malaysia, i'm believe you know well when you study out there, so cham when i'm working and my nose keep falling water~(Yii!!) and today i'm need outstation to N. Sembilan summore.. Can't be fall, because i need to pick worker go there..

Can't have a good sleep nia, keep wake up and run toilet, doctor said need take care of this kind of sick season, i'm guess you has to take care your self too yea, if not you will join the gang of wantan gang, i'm know you not wan't to join, right? =|

Okay la, time run back to bed, just wake up for ly medi ><! Night dummy, gonna miss you when i'm sick =( night..

Page 33,
Morning 06:08,
By Yht..

Fair..? Or not..?

Hey.. How are you..?

People said that, 
"爱一个爱自己多啲的人，
好过爱一个不爱自己的人”
I not really sure transfer to english is what, that mean is about love someone he love you much, better than love someone he don't.. Old man always said your wife are not the one you love mostly, but what i'm feel is maybe is true, but why don't i'm made her be the one most happiness one.. Maybe she not the choosen one, but she must be the only one.. Because if there is only one option, i will be made it to the better one, that is what i'm hope to do, and what i'm wan't to do =)

This page should be post early, but due on my family happening something big, so made me has to delay my writing.. Bad happen will bring good learning, even if i'm drop into a bad situation, i'm learn more then i'm lost =) 

So, how you doing for the so long time..? Mooncake festival is near, and i'm did remember we wear the dummy mooncake helm at WMO xD 

Okay la, it's time to work, and good luck yea =) take care your self and drink must water, i know fried and oily food is your favourite, but you has to drink much and much water \_/ =)

Page 32,
Morning 10:50 a.m.
By Yht..

the Holiday..

Finally end my Hari Raya holidays, and can sit down to share my happiness with you =)

We got the big plan for our holidays you know.. First we sendiri run to Genting Highland and live in my dad apartment, we plan go with 8pm, but.. there was very funny you know, first we are late very because my sister ah Jing her boyfriend was late, aftrr that when we are half way of our trip, we lost our key!!! gosh!!! So we turn back and take our key~ Of course kena laugh by my mom.. 

After a few hour finally we made it! Stand infront the door of the apartment, and i'm wonder why my sister don't get in.. When i'm get closed, you never know what she telling me..

"Gor, the key is patah"

O..M..G.. How come that could happen!! And i'm trying and trying, you sei lord is clever enought, i'm masuk the patah key and use tool to pusing it.. And i'm made it~ xD pandai betul ni..

We made steamboat by our self, we drink and enjoy the wind, quite enjoyable =)

We come down from there the next day because our second event is made bbQ at my home..(Of course i'm stuck over at Genting for an hour due on so so many going there) After we home, we prepare this prepare that, we almost burn the house xD and finally we can diam2 to bakar the chicken wing, and eat until full2~~

What to made of those days, is happy and crazy i'm did before, it's great if got the next time again =) how are you..? Did you have a good holidays too..? You should rest if you're work too hard or study too hard.. (I'm still remember you said you need to continue your master, how it's? Wish you have a good day all the time =) )

Okay lah.. Good nited and sweet dream dummy =)
Will miss you, oyasumi =)

Page 31,
03:19 a.m.
By Yht..

It's time..

Time pass fast, the FIFA world cup is end, all the focus has to pull out from that..

Feel same thing from the world cup, sometimes we will put all the energy to something, but when it's end, we should know to pull up and return to the life where we should be.. From the old contonese means that, something you force self to holding stronger, more painfull you earning.. =) 

Hmm~ Wake up with a great weather, it's new day again, wish you have a great day dumb2.. =) Good morning by the way..

Morning 09:44,
Page 30,
by Yht..

Future..

Hey.. It's 3:45 a.m. and i'm can't sleep yet.. Just now i'm was thinking something about "What is my future..?" with suddenly.. And i'm guess i'm sure what i'm need in my future but there is need more hardworking to made it success..

By the way i'm was also think that, what is the future look like..? Between us, our country, our life partner or our son.. I'm believe that you will be happiness, because you know what exactly you need in future =)

Sometimes i will macam ni, always think something is more and funny, to cause me can't fall to sleep.. June is gonna end soon and July is here, soon is your birthday again.. So far i'm still can't sure that could i able to made you a wish or i'm still din't put it down =x But i will try my best =)

Okay lah.. late already and i'm think it's really has to sleep right now, Good Night and sweet dream dumb2, wish you have a great weekend.. Night =)

Page 29,
03:53 a.m.
By Yht..

Tired.. And tired..

Sigh.. So tired everydays after work, summore work sampai gastric tim.. Do you rmb that, last time i'm suka use "if you don't wan't it i will tak makan until sakit gastric..? Long time din't happen, but suddenly come on bad timing..

Company not in good situation nia, all worker run and i'm has to do everything summore sick can't ask for off.. So cham nia.. By the way, how are you? Did you go back PP for dinner with you mom when mother day..? And father day is near too, i'm just eat with family last sunday ago, full and happy =) take more time for you parents too yea..

Okies la, i'm guess maybe one day you will come back and read again.. And i'm pain very about my gastric so i'm slp now.. Good night and seeet dream dumb2 =) suddenly miss u tim, like a fool..

Page 28,

Night 23:47,

By Yht..

Friendship..? Or the truth..?

June.. How long i'm update my last page..? Let me guess, around 2 weeks..? Or more than that..

This page should be wrote last 2 weeks ago, but something happen made me hard and don't know how to start write it.. But no matter how, that is already be past and just let those people whose should to handle it to finish it.. 

By the way there is something i'm think should let you know is i'm on relationship.. So far now already is June.. Soon is somebody birthday again, right..? =) Please allow me say sorry brcause i'm guess can't give you an unforgettern birthday wish anymore.. Forgive my selfish and childish =)

Same as usual, how was your day..? And there happen something to spoil your mood again..? =) have a nice day and drink much water please =)

Page 27,
Afternoon 15:34,
By Yht..

the Bad Guy..

Erm, how long i'm stop writing..? Keep stop my self to continue, everydays, every moments.. Just because i'm on relationship..

Sigh, but do i'm love the girl? Or i'm just take her as your substitube..? I'm dare not tell people about this, everytimes i'm kiss her i'm feel guilty because i'm will miss you.. Sigh, what i'm doing..!?

I'm sorry to tell you what i'm this asshole doing this shyt, it's not kaitan with you, just i'm hope will feel better after say it out, how are you..? And i'm sorry.. =')

Page 26,
Morning 08:14,
By Yht..

Her or You..?

People said that,
a better way to let go,
is let new one stay inside your head,
so that you can able forgot about her..
I'm agreed that,
but i'm wonder,
what if i'm really take her as you..?
Is that a big and serious problem..?
This few day i'm feel weird,
lot of time i'm take her as you,
i'm even to take care her just like what i'm did on you last time..

I'm know people will said i'm "jin kak",
but if that is the way i'm can put down,
i'm wan't to try..
I'm know i very selfish and bad,
but there is because i'm really very sanfu,
just take it as my "jik hao" bah..

It's mother day near, i'm hope you free to go back celebrate mami day because auntie is sayang you very that i'm know.. Okay la, i'm going to bed la, good night and sweet dream dumb2, miss you..

Page 25,
Midnight 01:41,
By Yht..

Love..?

Honestly,
i don't hope to open new page,
because when i'm did that,
that mean i'm miss you..

I'm was on relationship,
thay what i'm guess so,
but did i?
I'm love her much or you?
When i'm kiss her,
i thinking of you,
when i'm hold her hand,
i thinking of you,
when i'm hug her,
i'm still miss you..

I'm know that i'm asshole because i'm take her as you, i'm feel bad, how you will do, if you is me..?

Page 24,
Afternoon 16:18,
By Yht..

Sometimes..

Some happen killed me today,
today i'm felt same like those time,
what i'm telling you about i'm fall to you..
Sometimes,
something is under our expect,
and we only can accept it,
even if i'm know this very clear,
but need to do it sucessfull,
it's really abit hard..
Just now i'm really hope,
i dare to call you and tell you that,
"Hey, i'm feel very bad, would you really could talk with me, no any subject, any motive, just talk crap like what we always did"
But you know i'm din't do that,
because is i'm not ready to put down everything between us..
It's late,
i'm guess if some day you were reading,
maybe will laughing i'm still never change..
Good night and sweet dream dumb2,
can i still miss you?
Even if we become like this =')

Page 23,
Night 23:55,
By Yht..

Replace? or Repeat?

This is very funny,
i'm dream you last night,
and i'm think i din't miss you yesterday,
but you still apear to my dream..
I don't know why it's still happen to me,
i'm tried don't think always,
i also did really put it down,
but it hard and i'm keep fail..

Anyway, something is happen to me.. I'm went out with a lady, she is awesome, when i'm out there with her, i'm can temporary forgot about you, but after home i'm will still miss you and will dream you some night..

I'm wonder that i take her as you, and i'm also worry about what if this is another happen like what happen between us? I'm keep tell my self, no need to worry so much, if the fate is set with this funny story, no matter what i'm did, the story is still same, right?

All right, i think should think less, and sleep well, hope i'm could do that.. Good night and sweet dream dumb2.. What i'm wanna to say is, when i'm wrote something at here, that mean i'm actually is miss you, just i'm don't wan't and don't dare to admit it.. Sigh, fool forever is fool..

Page 22,
Midnight 03:27,
By Yht..

Is that you?

Sometimes,
somewhere,
someone maybe will miss you,
but that you're never know..
I'm feel down,
not because of miss you,
i'm feel bad,
not because of fall to you,
all my feel is because i'm still though find someone replace you is right,
as normal,
this is very very wrong move,
because you is you,
there is no one can bring the same feel what you give me..

Sigh, dummy, do you really found this secret dairy? And here is not so hard to find, right? I'm feel lonely, hust because every single night i'm will miss you and sometimes you will run into my dream too.. I'm so sorry, for keep hurting both of us..

Sigh, can't sleep at all, even if my eye is very tired, but mind is still working, terrible feel.. Okay lah, same as usual, i'm still miss you..

Good night and sweet dream..

Page 21,
Midnight 01:07,
By Yht..

Stupid..

This world is weird,
few days ago i'm still feel sad of humanility,
but now i'm feel that is human nature..
I'm should not blame,
that because everyone have their own life,
hope to change people life is very hard..

This world don't have prefect,
maybe a mistake is good to let people grow,
maybe not,
what important is know that is a challage,
if can handle it mean you're grow..
That is what i'm learn from,
so,
how do you do?
Sorry yea,
your sei lord still got miss you sometimes,
but i'm know even if i'm miss you very much,
that is just my feel..

Okay la,
it's late liao,
sleep well yea..
Good nited and sweet dream =)
Drink much water and take care..

Page 20,
Midnight 01:39,
By Yht..

Low chance..

Good morning~
I'm gess you will never believe it,
i'm just woke up by dream,
you know what dream will woke me up,
i'm feel uncomfortable,
and i'm looking on my phone..
You will never believe it..

Do you know skout? An apps that can made friend, but nevermind if you don't.. I'm got play that, and i'm woke up by dream, i will check my phone normally, what go into my eye is "skout: Sarah sent you a message".. What the hell, i'm know that is not you of course, but look like the GOD still haven enjoyable to playing me yet.. What a bad time i saw your by a crazy low chance..

It's funny,
can't sleep back again,
how your monday?
Monday blue,
let cheer up!
Good morning dumb2,
wish you have a happy day,
take care and drink much water,
i'm sorry i'm still miss you =')

Page 19,
Morning 07:27,
By Yht..

I'm guess..

Sigh,
dumb2,
if people said bad luck in love,
will lucky in gambling..
Your sei lord got a terrible weekend,
i'm lost many money and,
i'm feel crazy miss you =)"

Actually today i'm wan tell you is,
i'm feel tired to read people mind,
when some happen be clear,
the truth is cruel and scary,
i'm din't expect a people can turn face like this,
i'm feel this world is build on profit,
if you don't have something people need,
no one will be nice to you..
I'm wonder,
did the world got pure heart?
Did the world still left people like you?
Did this world de people all eye have profit only?
Sigh,
unacceptable,
maybe i'm really still too protected,
i'm should know to accept this fact,
people is no longer be friend without any motive..

Time to sleep again,
Good Night and sweet dream,
can i miss you like all the time?
Even you don't allow,
i will do it too,
you know,
right? =)
I'm sorry..
Good Night sleep tight..

Page 18,
Midnight 02:06,
By Yht..

Your lord is a bloody fool..?

Your lord,
me,
is a fool?
Did i'm really saw too less of world?
Can you explain to me,
what is mlm system?
What is network marketing?
And do you feel i'm right?
If i'm face this situation..
Okay what i'm faced is,

i'm been intro to visit a company, they telling what they did is hope me change my life, how to change it? My target, what i'm really want, what i'm exactly want.. So that if you heard this, how you will think.. They sale me my future, it's a business, yea i'm agreed this is a business, but what made me confused is the sales income way.. What they sale is jio a partner come in, buy product and be partnership again, so that they have bonus.. I'm did ask people they tell me is network marketing, i'm also go google search about what is network marketing, but you know i'm study not many, for my understand is network marketing is make business based on customer with internet, is it? 

I'm dont know i'm misunderstand or what la, but i'm feel sad lo, and last night they really show me a great movie, if future our situation become good, i'm hope you can share with me all about this..

Okay, 
same that,
how do you do?
Beside miss you,
now i'm understand something is,
i'm too weak because i'm see too less..
Oh ya,
take care oh,
this week weather like joke,
suka2 hot,
and then later rain heavy..
Take care..

Page 17,
Afternoon 12:24,
By Yht..

Your's name..

Today i'm feel shock,
used i'm write a lot emo on facebook and wechat,
but i'm din't expect your name,
will come out from my sister..
She ask me,
your friend,
named Sara (i'm correct her is Sarah)
is your lover or who else?
Did i'm write everything because of you,
i'm never expect she know your name,
and i'm never tell her about you,
this is first time your name come out from her mouth..
But this is not a big problem,
problem is she ask me,
you playing my feeling,
gosh,
how could she think you like this,
of course i'm defend for you..
Hehe =)

Oh yea, here is the topic.. "Money game", heard before? I'm guess you know this very well? Kind of business or something.. I'm not sure, but i'm almost let people tipu join it, so fool horh your sei lord, is like that lorh, without two bully, he just is a sei zai.. But it's time he need to grow up, just like what Nobita did, when Doraemon is gone..

Page 16,
Midnight 00:32,
By Yht..

Accept it..

When i'm change place to write this,
i guess i'm ready to accept the truth of,
you will never found this place..
But i'm wrong,
i'm feel bad again,
After the day you never came here anymore,
and you maybe will think i'm do the right thing,
already to let go everything about you,
but the truth is hidding something from you..
I'm hidding something to you..
You know that?

I know for now is no one will caring of me, and i'm do everything alone.. I'm don't know how to do and what to do so.. Remember that i'm try to find someone to replace you..? Even now i'm trying to, but i'm do it again, and i'm feel hurt again when i'm tell people i'm did have feel to them.. Sigh, how can you will know, and i'm keep say something meanless..

First of the April,
also known as April fool,
i'm miss you just like all the time again..

Page 15,
Morning 07:23,
By Yht..

Heart without LOVE..

Last time,
i will say that,
hey dumb2,
borrow me your shoulder,
i'm know you will say nothing,
and won't laugh on me,
just let me rely on it,
and listening my complain..
Now,
i hope i'm brave enough to say,
hey,
may i borrow your shoulder?
But you know that,
what i'm need is can't happen..

Today is 31th of March, so far tomorrow is April, that mean already half month i'm keep on this hard times.. I'm did really hope to change, but how hard i try to, there is no one, will care me as you do.. Maybe i'm was wrong because i'm compare they with you.. Maybe i'm din't expect i'm fall so deep on you.. But i'm feel pain, dumb2.. Even now, when i'm closed my eye, i'm afraid you are appear into my dream.. I do.. so much miss you.. Can you feel it..? Can let me rely on your shoulder again and let my tears fall again? Even is titan, they will be fallen too..

Page 14,
Night 21:46,
By Yht..

Stagnation..

Tell you what,
today was my harder day,
i'm been went out for movie,
slacking,
bur i'm not happy at all..
When i'm wake up,
there is something already spoil my mood,
i'm was very unhappy,
did i'm good to let people playing?
I'm miss the day let you bully,
i'm still miss that time to let you joke,
i'm still miss you,
much and more than you expect..
Hey,
how do you do..?
i'm was very down today,
but i'm still same dare not to find you,
for a simple chat..

Page 13,
Noon 19:42,
By Yht..

A fish too easy bite the bait..

I'm too weakness..?
What if someone tell you he/she like you,
and what you suppose to respond..?

Maybe i'm seriously keep too much into heart,
all people feel i'm lost my anger,
so they all can playing my feeling,
i'm a human fresh too,
i'm do have feeling,
i feel pain,
i feel sad,
and i feel bad when abandon by all people..

You tell me before that you are always here,
i'm hope you really know,
in this moment,
in this night,
I'm miss you,
like a fool..

Page 12,
Midnight 02:30,
By Yht..

It's end..?

It's the end of us..?
I just know i'm writing meanless,
what i'm has to expect more,
if this is the reason i'm write blog..
Last night and last last night,
i'm was very upset,
why all those people like to saying without proof,
if there is already happen.
should we think how to fix it,
better than argue why made it happen..?
I don't get it,
why everyone like to judge before know that truth behind..
How you doing..?
What i'm learned from those plane accident was,
if already happen please accepted and find the better way,
not act like a kid do,
did i'm right to thinking like this way..?
Time to sleep,
Good nited dumb2,
sleep tight and sweet dream..

Page 11,
Midnight 00:18,
By Yht..

Biasa..

What i'm worry for,
the reason of changing,
is because worry continue hurting you,
if the reason is that,
then if you din't visit here is normal..
Today i'm spent a lot,
just because the day is too hard..
How you life,
the doraemon expo is end,
did you go for it..?
Tell you what,
i'm really not like going ViVa home,
worry will langgat dao you =)"
Fool right?
Sleep lorh,
good night and sweet dream..

Page 10,
Night 23:36,
By Yht..

Tired..

Maybe i'm old liao,
feel very tired on this week,
and lost my passion on everything..
How your life?
Did you go the doaremon expo?
It's only left two days,
maybe you don't lke it..
Feel need to travel,
don't wan't to stay here anymore,
i'm felt bad and heavy pressure..
Hope i'm can made decision get away,
without worry this and worry that,
just take my bag and go away..
I'm really hope i could do that =(

Page 09,
Morning 10:43,
By Yht..

Again..?

I'm understand everyone got their harder time,
i'm don't know how long it gone after i'm tell you,
what the difference between us is,
you are sad for lost a friend,
and i'm sad because i'm made a friend lost..
Last night was so hard for me,
but i'm success to pass it..
Not again for what,
is i'm dream you again,
sigh...
It's already happen around 5 or 6 month?
Why when i'm though i'm ready to let go,
and actually i'm not?
Miss someone is very suffer,
and i'm dare not to find you or even to check you FB..
Just can wish that every morning and night,
you are happiness and happiness forever,
fool,
is always what i'm doing..

Page 08,
Morning 09:18,
By Yht..

Did i'm old..?

When i'm just home,
i'm feel wanna go up to Genting again,
but semakin tunggu and semakin no that mood..
Do i not longer like a young,
just do what i'm think and what i'm want..?
Today was a worse day,
working that have a lot trouble,
and i'm feel tired to explain the situation with my boss..
So far,
i'm still good,
how do you do..?

Page 07,
Night 22:02,
By Yht..

Say something, i giving up on you..

Say something,
i giving up on you..
I'm love this song so much right now,
i'm always think that,
a promise i'm made before,
but there is never be true always,
i'm broke it again and again..
I'm said that never leave you alone,
and i'm gone again..
Sigh,
don't know how many times liao,
you know i'm never leave you alone,
do you?
I'm still miss you in the morning,
and dream you on the night..
I'm miss you,
sigh..

Page 06,
Morning 07:28,
By Yht..

Selfish..

Yea i am fall to you,

why i can't just keep love you like this way,

i know that we are impossible,

and i know you are feel sad we become like this,

please take note,

this is not you fault or anybody fault,

this is the feeling of my..

I am love you,

so?

Why must hide my feel if i don't wan't hurt you,

love will made some one become very selfish,

this is the truth..

I know that is terrible thinking,

but what you suppose me to think?

I'm done,

i miss you like a fool,

if you really fall to me like you said before,

you will know that,

what the feel you are imaging when i'm kissing my ex,

what the feel when i'm sayang her..

But what ever,

saying this right now is point less,

what i'm hope to made clear is,

Yea i'm still love you,

and this is my personal feeling,

no kaitan with anybody,

even you..

Just only my feel,

and let me be fool even i'm will suffer forever..

Page 05,

Midnight 00:15,

By Yht..

为何？ Why..?

为了什么换地方写呢？
有必要去解释吗？
为了什么会停下不写？
很多问题，
不知道妳会想会问没有，
如果妳有机会看到这，
希望能为妳解答。
事情是这样发生的，
前个星期我以为成功把对妳的感觉转移，
但是原来我只是把别人当成妳。
我很不开心，
和朋友聊时她告诉我，
勉强去爱只会让大家难受，
就算一起但最终还是不开心，
如果剩下的只是友情，
为什么不好好珍惜，
反而要让大家连朋友都当不成？
是的，
过去我一直写这些，
让我们都无法做朋友，
你逃避了我，
我避开了你，
大家都觉得很痛苦。
所以我停下来了，
想了很久，
决定如果我觉得不舒服，
我还是可以写，
但不再是写给妳看，
这样就不会再伤害了妳。
可能我是自私，
因为我还怕会爱上妳。
Why change new blog?
Why stop writing at old blog?
Should i explain all of this?
Lot of question,
i not sure will you wanna to ask,
but if you read this,
i'm hope you can get what you wan't to know at here..
What happen is,
few week ago i'm though i'm sucess to transfer feeling to other,
but actually i'm took people as you..
I'm feel very sad,
what my fren tell me when we are chatting,
"Those love with force is never will happiness,
even if stay together at the end just will made each other suffer,
why try to destroy that,
if friendship is the only thing we left behind,
and not try to keep it as treasure?"
Yea she right,
used what i'm did is hurting our friendship,
push us into this situation,
you try to stay far to me,
and i'm try to avoid you,
made we feel suffer all the time..
I'm stop it,
and i'm think it,
finally i'm made decision for keep writing if i'm wan't,
but not write to show you anymore,
i won't hurt you again in this way..
Maybe i'm still selfish,
just because i'm still afraid to love you..

Page 04,
Morning 10:41,
By Yht..

是爱妳？Is that loving..?

距离逃避已经两星期，
不知妳怎么想，
我又一次伤害了妳，
或者说妳没觉得是伤害，
因为我们都在逃避对方。
那飞机出事了快一星期，
让我明白有些事，
可能发生就那么一瞬间，
但是会带来无比的痛苦。
太多不可预测的意外了，
我这样做是错吗？
逃避与离开妳的世界，
会让妳痛苦不开心吗？
为什么我还是那么想妳，
妳过得好吗？
天气还是那么差，
妳记得好好照顾自己，
不希望妳熬病了，
对不起还在想妳。
Avoiding you around two week,
don't know how your feel,
when i'm hurt you again this time,
or maybe i'm wrong,
you din't take it as a hurt,
because what we did is really avoiding each other..
MH370 accident already one week,
learn something from that accident,
an accident may just happen in a few second,
but will brough you a unforgettern pain..
Did i'm wrong too?
When i'm know an accident is undetected..
Avoid and leave your world,
is it will made you feel unhappy and painful?
How you doing?
Why i'm still miss you like now?
Weather is same bad,
please you take care your self nicely,
don't hope you sick again,
i'm sorry to leaving your world and still miss you..

Morning 10:10,
Page 3,
By Yht..

又失眠… Can't sleep again..

最近很难才睡着，
脑海总是想着一些事，
妳明白吗？
其实我知道我不能爱妳，
但是却控制不了自己的感觉。
今天过得好吗？
最近天气还是很差，
如果感觉不舒服就看医生吧。
我到底在做么？
明知道妳发现这里的几率很低，
还是控制不了自己想妳，
是傻子还是疯子呢？
Recently hard get a sleep,
always thinking something before sleep,
can you understand..?
I'm know that i'm should not fall into you,
but just i can't control my feeling..
How you do..?
Weather same bad,
take care of you self carefully and if feel sick just go clinic..
What exactly i'm doing,
even know the chance you will read is zero,
still failed control my self to stop miss you,
i'm a fool or madness..?

Page 2,
Morning 06:55
By Yht..

妳与时间… You and the time..

强迫停止数天，
只因为朋友一句，
如果你们之间只剩下友情，
而你却一直做出伤害这段友情的事，
那么你们之间就会连朋友都不是。
我一直在想，
我是不是做错了呢？
如果我不再写，
你是否也赞成呢？
或者让你知道我不想写了，
妳也可以不需要知道我的心情。
其实所做的所写的一切，
都不会有帮助。
如果有一天妳发现了这里，
希望妳知道我还在思念妳。
对不起，
笨蛋。
Just because friend told me that,
if friendship is the only thing you left with her,
why you still writing to broke this friendship,
if keep doing this and the end you and her will not be friend anymore,
that why i'm stop writing..
Is it what i'm doing is wrong?
I'm keep thinking about it,
if i'm stop writing,
do you agreed it too..?
Or i should tell you this reason of stop writing,
so that you can no need to know what i'm feel..
Actually it's helpless,
what i'm done and what i'm say..
If you found me here someday,
i'm hope you know that someone is miss you somewhere..
Sorry,
Dumb2..

Page 01,
Afternoon 15:07,
By Yht..