Heart without LOVE..

Last time,
i will say that,
hey dumb2,
borrow me your shoulder,
i'm know you will say nothing,
and won't laugh on me,
just let me rely on it,
and listening my complain..
Now,
i hope i'm brave enough to say,
hey,
may i borrow your shoulder?
But you know that,
what i'm need is can't happen..

Today is 31th of March, so far tomorrow is April, that mean already half month i'm keep on this hard times.. I'm did really hope to change, but how hard i try to, there is no one, will care me as you do.. Maybe i'm was wrong because i'm compare they with you.. Maybe i'm din't expect i'm fall so deep on you.. But i'm feel pain, dumb2.. Even now, when i'm closed my eye, i'm afraid you are appear into my dream.. I do.. so much miss you.. Can you feel it..? Can let me rely on your shoulder again and let my tears fall again? Even is titan, they will be fallen too..

Page 14,
Night 21:46,
By Yht..

Stagnation..

Tell you what,
today was my harder day,
i'm been went out for movie,
slacking,
bur i'm not happy at all..
When i'm wake up,
there is something already spoil my mood,
i'm was very unhappy,
did i'm good to let people playing?
I'm miss the day let you bully,
i'm still miss that time to let you joke,
i'm still miss you,
much and more than you expect..
Hey,
how do you do..?
i'm was very down today,
but i'm still same dare not to find you,
for a simple chat..

Page 13,
Noon 19:42,
By Yht..

A fish too easy bite the bait..

I'm too weakness..?
What if someone tell you he/she like you,
and what you suppose to respond..?

Maybe i'm seriously keep too much into heart,
all people feel i'm lost my anger,
so they all can playing my feeling,
i'm a human fresh too,
i'm do have feeling,
i feel pain,
i feel sad,
and i feel bad when abandon by all people..

You tell me before that you are always here,
i'm hope you really know,
in this moment,
in this night,
I'm miss you,
like a fool..

Page 12,
Midnight 02:30,
By Yht..

It's end..?

It's the end of us..?
I just know i'm writing meanless,
what i'm has to expect more,
if this is the reason i'm write blog..
Last night and last last night,
i'm was very upset,
why all those people like to saying without proof,
if there is already happen.
should we think how to fix it,
better than argue why made it happen..?
I don't get it,
why everyone like to judge before know that truth behind..
How you doing..?
What i'm learned from those plane accident was,
if already happen please accepted and find the better way,
not act like a kid do,
did i'm right to thinking like this way..?
Time to sleep,
Good nited dumb2,
sleep tight and sweet dream..

Page 11,
Midnight 00:18,
By Yht..

Biasa..

What i'm worry for,
the reason of changing,
is because worry continue hurting you,
if the reason is that,
then if you din't visit here is normal..
Today i'm spent a lot,
just because the day is too hard..
How you life,
the doraemon expo is end,
did you go for it..?
Tell you what,
i'm really not like going ViVa home,
worry will langgat dao you =)"
Fool right?
Sleep lorh,
good night and sweet dream..

Page 10,
Night 23:36,
By Yht..

Tired..

Maybe i'm old liao,
feel very tired on this week,
and lost my passion on everything..
How your life?
Did you go the doaremon expo?
It's only left two days,
maybe you don't lke it..
Feel need to travel,
don't wan't to stay here anymore,
i'm felt bad and heavy pressure..
Hope i'm can made decision get away,
without worry this and worry that,
just take my bag and go away..
I'm really hope i could do that =(

Page 09,
Morning 10:43,
By Yht..

Again..?

I'm understand everyone got their harder time,
i'm don't know how long it gone after i'm tell you,
what the difference between us is,
you are sad for lost a friend,
and i'm sad because i'm made a friend lost..
Last night was so hard for me,
but i'm success to pass it..
Not again for what,
is i'm dream you again,
sigh...
It's already happen around 5 or 6 month?
Why when i'm though i'm ready to let go,
and actually i'm not?
Miss someone is very suffer,
and i'm dare not to find you or even to check you FB..
Just can wish that every morning and night,
you are happiness and happiness forever,
fool,
is always what i'm doing..

Page 08,
Morning 09:18,
By Yht..

Did i'm old..?

When i'm just home,
i'm feel wanna go up to Genting again,
but semakin tunggu and semakin no that mood..
Do i not longer like a young,
just do what i'm think and what i'm want..?
Today was a worse day,
working that have a lot trouble,
and i'm feel tired to explain the situation with my boss..
So far,
i'm still good,
how do you do..?

Page 07,
Night 22:02,
By Yht..

Say something, i giving up on you..

Say something,
i giving up on you..
I'm love this song so much right now,
i'm always think that,
a promise i'm made before,
but there is never be true always,
i'm broke it again and again..
I'm said that never leave you alone,
and i'm gone again..
Sigh,
don't know how many times liao,
you know i'm never leave you alone,
do you?
I'm still miss you in the morning,
and dream you on the night..
I'm miss you,
sigh..

Page 06,
Morning 07:28,
By Yht..

Selfish..

Yea i am fall to you,

why i can't just keep love you like this way,

i know that we are impossible,

and i know you are feel sad we become like this,

please take note,

this is not you fault or anybody fault,

this is the feeling of my..

I am love you,

so?

Why must hide my feel if i don't wan't hurt you,

love will made some one become very selfish,

this is the truth..

I know that is terrible thinking,

but what you suppose me to think?

I'm done,

i miss you like a fool,

if you really fall to me like you said before,

you will know that,

what the feel you are imaging when i'm kissing my ex,

what the feel when i'm sayang her..

But what ever,

saying this right now is point less,

what i'm hope to made clear is,

Yea i'm still love you,

and this is my personal feeling,

no kaitan with anybody,

even you..

Just only my feel,

and let me be fool even i'm will suffer forever..

Page 05,

Midnight 00:15,

By Yht..

为何？ Why..?

为了什么换地方写呢？
有必要去解释吗？
为了什么会停下不写？
很多问题，
不知道妳会想会问没有，
如果妳有机会看到这，
希望能为妳解答。
事情是这样发生的，
前个星期我以为成功把对妳的感觉转移，
但是原来我只是把别人当成妳。
我很不开心，
和朋友聊时她告诉我，
勉强去爱只会让大家难受，
就算一起但最终还是不开心，
如果剩下的只是友情，
为什么不好好珍惜，
反而要让大家连朋友都当不成？
是的，
过去我一直写这些，
让我们都无法做朋友，
你逃避了我，
我避开了你，
大家都觉得很痛苦。
所以我停下来了，
想了很久，
决定如果我觉得不舒服，
我还是可以写，
但不再是写给妳看，
这样就不会再伤害了妳。
可能我是自私，
因为我还怕会爱上妳。
Why change new blog?
Why stop writing at old blog?
Should i explain all of this?
Lot of question,
i not sure will you wanna to ask,
but if you read this,
i'm hope you can get what you wan't to know at here..
What happen is,
few week ago i'm though i'm sucess to transfer feeling to other,
but actually i'm took people as you..
I'm feel very sad,
what my fren tell me when we are chatting,
"Those love with force is never will happiness,
even if stay together at the end just will made each other suffer,
why try to destroy that,
if friendship is the only thing we left behind,
and not try to keep it as treasure?"
Yea she right,
used what i'm did is hurting our friendship,
push us into this situation,
you try to stay far to me,
and i'm try to avoid you,
made we feel suffer all the time..
I'm stop it,
and i'm think it,
finally i'm made decision for keep writing if i'm wan't,
but not write to show you anymore,
i won't hurt you again in this way..
Maybe i'm still selfish,
just because i'm still afraid to love you..

Page 04,
Morning 10:41,
By Yht..

是爱妳？Is that loving..?

距离逃避已经两星期，
不知妳怎么想，
我又一次伤害了妳，
或者说妳没觉得是伤害，
因为我们都在逃避对方。
那飞机出事了快一星期，
让我明白有些事，
可能发生就那么一瞬间，
但是会带来无比的痛苦。
太多不可预测的意外了，
我这样做是错吗？
逃避与离开妳的世界，
会让妳痛苦不开心吗？
为什么我还是那么想妳，
妳过得好吗？
天气还是那么差，
妳记得好好照顾自己，
不希望妳熬病了，
对不起还在想妳。
Avoiding you around two week,
don't know how your feel,
when i'm hurt you again this time,
or maybe i'm wrong,
you din't take it as a hurt,
because what we did is really avoiding each other..
MH370 accident already one week,
learn something from that accident,
an accident may just happen in a few second,
but will brough you a unforgettern pain..
Did i'm wrong too?
When i'm know an accident is undetected..
Avoid and leave your world,
is it will made you feel unhappy and painful?
How you doing?
Why i'm still miss you like now?
Weather is same bad,
please you take care your self nicely,
don't hope you sick again,
i'm sorry to leaving your world and still miss you..

Morning 10:10,
Page 3,
By Yht..

又失眠… Can't sleep again..

最近很难才睡着，
脑海总是想着一些事，
妳明白吗？
其实我知道我不能爱妳，
但是却控制不了自己的感觉。
今天过得好吗？
最近天气还是很差，
如果感觉不舒服就看医生吧。
我到底在做么？
明知道妳发现这里的几率很低，
还是控制不了自己想妳，
是傻子还是疯子呢？
Recently hard get a sleep,
always thinking something before sleep,
can you understand..?
I'm know that i'm should not fall into you,
but just i can't control my feeling..
How you do..?
Weather same bad,
take care of you self carefully and if feel sick just go clinic..
What exactly i'm doing,
even know the chance you will read is zero,
still failed control my self to stop miss you,
i'm a fool or madness..?

Page 2,
Morning 06:55
By Yht..

妳与时间… You and the time..

强迫停止数天，
只因为朋友一句，
如果你们之间只剩下友情，
而你却一直做出伤害这段友情的事，
那么你们之间就会连朋友都不是。
我一直在想，
我是不是做错了呢？
如果我不再写，
你是否也赞成呢？
或者让你知道我不想写了，
妳也可以不需要知道我的心情。
其实所做的所写的一切，
都不会有帮助。
如果有一天妳发现了这里，
希望妳知道我还在思念妳。
对不起，
笨蛋。
Just because friend told me that,
if friendship is the only thing you left with her,
why you still writing to broke this friendship,
if keep doing this and the end you and her will not be friend anymore,
that why i'm stop writing..
Is it what i'm doing is wrong?
I'm keep thinking about it,
if i'm stop writing,
do you agreed it too..?
Or i should tell you this reason of stop writing,
so that you can no need to know what i'm feel..
Actually it's helpless,
what i'm done and what i'm say..
If you found me here someday,
i'm hope you know that someone is miss you somewhere..
Sorry,
Dumb2..

Page 01,
Afternoon 15:07,
By Yht..